I’m finding myself in a tough position and while this blog is a sharing of my personal feelings, it’s also a request for a conversation.  So, if you can make it through my whining and by the end you have something to contribute (in a healthy way – I’m too hormonally pregnant to be attacked right now and not let it phase me), please do!

These days it feels like we can’t have many opinions without taking a political stance.  In this moment I can’t even think of one thing that wouldn’t be construed as a “hot topic” of political conversation.  I’m over here like, “I love puppies!” and just readying myself for the, “if you really loved puppies, you’d vote for so & so in the next election because she is in favor of amending these antiquated laws that murder puppies.”  It’s all too much to handle sometimes.  This divisiveness we’re experiencing is creating an environment of either overtly and aggressively stating your political affiliation and position OR intentionally abstaining from the conversations.  Both of those options are fine if that’s what you choose for yourself.  The problem is feeling confined to one or the other.  Pressured to speak up or stay quiet.  Guilted into having an opinion you haven’t thought out fully or shamed into being silent when you maintain an unpopular position on an issue.

While this troubles me personally, I have a really strong community that helps me explore my beliefs in a safe place, so I can feel better prepared for heading out into the world as an individual with thoughts.  I know, ridiculous right?  Out in the world having thoughts.  Pshh.  Who does she think she is?!  #TroubleMaker But there’s a layer that troubles me more.  Along with other dedicated and brilliant minds, I help run an organization for women.  We care greatly about ensuring women have what they need to heal and grow and lead wholehearted lives.  This form of empowerment to us is simply emboldening women with the tools and support they need to make choices that are right for them.  This isn’t a plug about how awesome House Of Your Heart (HOYH) is – although it is a magical, fairy dusted place for nourishing connection, empowerment, and hope.  It’s just important as reader you know what we do stand for, so you can make an informed opinion about the challenges I’m facing as an ambassador, responsible party, and stakeholder.  As an organization we have decided that it does not make sense for us to have any political affiliations since we believe all women are capable of finding their own truths and living them out in ways that feel authentic.  However…

Can we call ourselves advocates for women, for women’s empowerment, without taking a political stance?  I’d like to say yes.  Mostly because some of the issues we are facing as women don’t feel like they should be political.  But if we talk about women’s reproductive health we end up touching on a platform that both parties have used to win and lose elections.  When we discuss equal pay or gender equality, it sounds like we have a political agenda or at least an affiliation.  If we are open to a public debate (and let’s be honest, scrutiny), we can share our definition of what a “woman” is and if she’d be welcome to experience HOYH offerings.  If you’re frustrated at this point with my ambiguity, I’ll remind you it is intentional.  Our organization continues to have the difficult, but necessary conversations about how to handle this moving forward.  The bottom line is that what we can say, openly and without pause, is we do not want to alienate any woman from getting the support she needs and deserves.  Also, having differing opinions from other women in our organization does not scare us.  We embrace and welcome the diversity.  We desire it.  It helps us grow and learn and evolve.  Over the many years of connecting women in safe, empowering circles, we have learned that our details or stories are not what binds us – we are connected by the way our stories make us feel.  The way they’ve scarred us or improved us.  The way they continue to knock us on our asses.  The way they teach us everything we need to know.  Opening up and being vulnerable allows us to make meaningful connections with other people and accept ourselves for who we truly are and not who we think we’re supposed to be or who we’ve been in the past.  This is what we do in HOYH.  This is how we HOYH.

Lately, I’ve just been struggling personally to work in a place completely devoted to women and feeling like I can only talk about or post about super neutral things.  Like our voice has been hushed for fear of what it would mean to ask hard questions, pose real issues that we all face, and open a dialogue around extremely sensitive matters where our only agenda is awareness.  What would it mean?  I guess this is where I start asking you as a reader for insight.  Brené Brown’s Braving the Wilderness book tour served as validation for what I’m facing right now.  When I saw her in Austin for the third year in a row (is my fan girl flag too aggressive right now?) she says something along the lines of, “there was no way to write this book in this political climate without talking about political issues.”  Obviously, she said it more eloquently because she’s magical and beautiful and utterly inspiring beyond description or comprehension.  She is also very correct.  Today, it just doesn’t feel possible to talk about anything without talking about politics.  Especially topics that politicians are using as platforms for their campaigns… like women’s rights / issues!

The issues themselves aren’t the only challenge.  I’d like to feel free to quote powerful women – from either side of the political spectrum – without it meaning that HOYH is aligned with any or all of their political beliefs.  Powerful women like Michelle Obama, Laura Bush, Nancy Reagan, or Elizabeth Warren.  My entire thought process started when my husband shared what Democratic Congressional candidate, Alexandria Ocasio Cortez said at an event.  She said, “If it looks like I’m tired, I am. If it looks like I have no makeup on, I don’t. If this is the fifth time you’ve seen me in this dress, deal with it.”  I just loved this!  Men don’t have to deal with the judgments on appearance like women do.  Hillary Clinton ran for office and so much of the conversation was about the way she looked or how she might behave as a woman in our highest office.  #PeriodsScarePeople My initial thought was to share this Ocasio Cortez quote with our HOYH community.  Not because she is a democrat, but because she was changing the narrative for women.  She was calling it out.  And that was really impressive and inspiring.

Can you as a faithful veteran of HOYH or a first-time reader see social media posts about progressing women’s reproductive health and feel like you can still come to us as a pro-life advocate?  Because we don’t care about whether or not you are a Republican, Democrat, Libertarian, member of the Green Party, or find yourself unregistered – we care that all women experience freedom to do what feels right to them – including voting for what they believe in.

Can we say that any woman who identifies as a woman is welcome here and you still feel like YOU belong?  Because we don’t turn women away.  Period.

Are we neglecting a duty to you as women if we don’t say anything at all about the issues we are all facing in the workplace, in the home, at school, in office, and around the world?

What about sexual harassment and the way women continue to be treated as objects and consistently made to feel uncomfortable, demoralized, and / or unwelcome?

Should HOYH have a voice in these matters?  If yes, how do we continue being a safe place for ALL women while still vocalizing thoughts / issues?

Perhaps we just create spark – igniting the conversations that need to be had and moderate to ensure we’re all feeling heard and respected.  Perhaps we simply inspire the dialogue but stay as unbiased as possible.  Perhaps we provide a platform but remain Switzerland.  Perhaps we say nothing at all because that’s how good girls are supposed to behave.  But, then again, Marilyn Monroe said it best, “Well behaved women rarely make history.”  And we want to help women make history.  It doesn’t have to be globally revolutionary history, but it has to be revolutionary to her deserving soul.  So, what say you, dear reader?  Where do I, where does HOYH go from here?  Remember, be gentle because #SuperPregnant.  But be real AF.